Emotionally Intact

On Monday morning, my daughter and I walked to school holding hands, counting the new daffodils that had bloomed over the weekend.

On Tuesday morning, my daughter and I walked halfway to school until she decided she didn’t want to go to school and yelled "You are being so stupid to me!!!!" because I was trying to walk her to school.

Having kids is simple. Really. 

Feed them. Give them somewhere to sleep. Bathe them (occasionally). Manage their pathologicaly raging emotions. 

My daughter likes to squish her full, 4 ½ year old cheek against my less-full, 39 ½ year old one and tell me she “loves me the most in the whole world.”

And hot baby rage tears will streak those cheeks as she yells “leave me alone don’t talk to me!” because [literally any reason].

She’ll plead “Uppie!” and I’ll lift her 49.7 lb 99th percentile body into a bear hug and hope my chiropractors are grateful I'm paying for their kids' college tuition. 

And I’ll dodge her righteous, meaty, swinging fist as I carry her home after I’ve said 27 times it’s time to go home and 27 times she has refused and then ignored and then looked at me dead in the eye and laughed. 

On days we make it to school emotionally intact, she’ll plead “Mommy, walk up me” to 20 feet beyond where all the other parents drop off before she wraps her arms around my entire actual head and squeezes as hard as she can. 

When I pick her up from school holding her scooter because she asked me to bring her scooter she’ll ask me where is the car and I’ll remind her she asked me to bring her scooter and then she’ll deny it and throw herself on the ground and refuse to scoot home as all of her classmates walk by and wave and their parents look at me with eyes that say “Thank god that’s not me.”

She’ll eat roasted chicken, lentils and kale for dinner and say “thank you mommy this is so good!” and I’ll be smug because my daughter is a better eater than yours and it’s obviously because of me.

The next morning she’ll refuse the oatmeal I made after I asked her if she wanted oatmeal and she said yes she wanted oatmeal but no she doesn’t actually want oatmeal she wants toast no actually she doesn’t know what she wants but it’s definitely not anything you have already prepared and certainly not anything in your fridge or house for that matter but hurry up because she’s hungry.

Having kids is simple. Really.