Swimming Lessons

I took my son to his weekly swim class on Monday. 

And as I sat there watching him, it was clear he was having a rough time. Didn't want to put his face in the water. A lot of whining. Some tears. 

If I had gone in at that moment and asked, "Do you want to get out of the water?" he might have said yes. 

But I didn't do that. I wanted him to finish his lesson. 

And my husband and I will keep brining him back to his lessons every week. We’ll keep trying to explain - in the best ways we know how to explain anything to a 3.5 year old - why it's important to practice hard things.

And we'll do this because we believe this is what's best for him. Because we want him to be able to swim. We want him to have fun at the pool and beach. We want him to feel confident in the water and practice is the only way he’ll get there.

We do this as parents. Push our kids to try new things. Encourage them when they're scared. Do whatever it takes to give them every opportunity.

But it’s also hypocritical.

Because we push our kids to learn and grow, but we let ourselves off the hook.

At some point a lot of us stop challenging ourselves. We stop doing things that feel uncomfortable. Yet we still bitch and moan about things being boring. We complain about not having what we want. We blame other people for how we feel. 

It’s easy to stay where you are. Comfy to be stagnant and melt into the couch.

It’s hard to try new things. Especially if you're in full on parent mode and taking care of other people. 

But just because it's hard doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Hard doesn't mean it's not worth doing. Isn't this what we tell our kids?

And what we forget is that hard does not mean it can't also be fun. 

Even though my son had a hard lesson, he still had fun. He had a great teacher who helped him through the tricky bits. She made him laugh and reminded him how much he loves to be in the pool. 

She pushed him to finish the lesson, but she was loving. She encouraged him to swim, but she did it with compassion. 

What do you say to your kids when they're trying something new? When they're timid and scared and want to just hang back and watch TV?

I'm guessing you tell them a few things.
 - They'll be happy they did it.
 - It's not as scary as they think it is.
 - It will be fun.
 - THEY'LL BE OK. 

My goal for 2020 is to not let myself off the hook. To keep myself accountable for the things I know are going make me better. But to do it with the same level of compassion towards myself that I try to hold for my kids. I’m done trying to bully myself into change. If this is what you do, you probably know that it feels shitty and doesn't work. 

So...can you give yourself your own advice? Can you show yourself the compassion that you show to your kids? Can you surround yourself with the people and teachers and coaches who will keep you going when the going gets rough? 

Because I don't want you to stop. I don't want you to give up on yourself, just like you would never give up on your kids. I want you to keep going. Even when it's hard. Especially when it's hard. 

So here’s to compassionate accountability in 2020. I can't wait to see what we do. 

Stop floating. Stop treading water. Start swimming.